Coping with Miscarriage Grief and Loss through Counseling
Miscarriage and grief certainly go hand-in-hand. It is very normal for a woman to feel intense grief, depression, anxiety and misery after she has had a miscarriage. Reactions vary from person to person, and there is no 'right way' about it. Some people feel numb and empty, some feel isolated and alone, and may completely withdraw from public view, while another may want to talk about her loss.
Along with the loss of the baby, a woman's body also undergoes tremendous hormonal changes during this period, which in turn may lead...
Pregnancy And Baby Care Questions
...to fluctuations in emotional behavior.
Handle Miscarriage Grief
If the loss has happened to you, along with grief you may also feel guilty, that somehow you were responsible for the miscarriage. Before you start blaming yourself, it is very important for you to understand that there are many reasons why a miscarriage takes place. They range from genetic, hormonal or uterine abnormalities to an ectopic pregnancy, which has no chance of survival. Besides, you must also remember, that you are only one half of the cause of pregnancy. The male sperm and its health is the other half, and any abnormality in that could also have caused the miscarriage. So don't start blaming yourself.
Miscarriage grief Support and Counseling
If you have suffered a miscarriage, you may like to seek support from your partner, or family and friends. You may find it helpful to talk about how you feel. If it is your partner who has suffered the miscarriage, you may have to be strong for her sake, and be very supportive.
If you are trying to counsel or support someone else, here are a few pointers to handle the situation:
- Be available for her; listen to her and show your genuine care and concern.
- Allow her to express as much of the trauma and pain that she wishes to share with you. Allow her to talk about it as often as she would like to.
- Assure her that it was not her fault, and that she did all that was possible.
- Tell her how sorry you feel about it.
- Don't avoid her, because you feel uncomfortable. This can add to the pain. Don't stop her from talking about the loss, or change the subject when she mentions it. You may think that talking about other things will help her to forget, but it doesn't work that way.
- Don't say things like 'you can have another one', or 'at least you have another child' (if they already have one). She wanted this one too.
- Don't start preaching to her by saying things like 'at least you should be grateful for…' or point out a moral lesson.